How to Be More Confident- 9 Tips

Everyone loves a confident lady! We’ve all heard this before. In all fairness, it’s true. Learning to be confident is something we should all strive for. However, it shouldn’t stop here.

In reality, there is something even better than confidence- even more appealing. The best thing a lady, or anyone, can be is Godfident!

Godfidence is having confidence in God’s character, truth, power, and ability and letting that be the lens through which we see ourselves and the world. 

“Faking it til you make it” or trying to “look good, so you feel good” is bad advice. It doesn’t work. At best, these solutions are temporary. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of putting bandaids on gaping wounds.

The only way to build lasting and unwavering confidence is by letting God renew your mind. This begins with unlearning how the world tells you to fix low self-esteem and turning to the only One who can.

Ditch the old advice and learn how God teaches us to become confident in Christ. Here are nine tips for how to be more confident today.

1. Know Who God Says You Are

Step one is knowing who you are in Christ! If your identity is still in how you look, what people think of you, your job, and your hobbies, then you need to learn who God says you are.

• God says you are His image-bearer. Of His creation, He called everything good. Of man, of you, He declares that you are VERY good.
• The Lord says you are loved. The Father gave up His son for you! He desired to have a relationship with you so badly that he took on your death sentence.
• God says that you are forgiven. Friend, Jesus’ finished work on the cross is enough. Hallelujah! No matter how many times you miss it, God will forgive you.
• God says that you are accepted. Fortunately, an exchange happened on the cross; we got what Jesus deserved, and He got what we deserved. Of his son, the Lord says, “This is my beloved Son,[b] with whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17). God sees and accepts you. He sees you and says this is my beloved daughter, and I am so pleased with her.

Allow these truths to penetrate your heart. Read them again and again until you believe them.

2. Know Your Purpose. What’s your Why?

Another reason for low confidence is not working for something greater than yourself. When you understand God’s plans for your life, there’s a little pep in your step. You have more swagger. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as walking in the assignment God has given you. However, don’t be discouraged if you don’t know what it is yet. In my experience, it takes time for God to reveal His calling for your life.

One of my favorite online pastors said that for God to reveal your purpose you must do whatever He asks you to do. Obedience is key. You can hear His voice and discern His directions by reading your Bible (there’s no way around it). Once you show Him you’re obedient, He’ll show you His plan for your life.

3. Fear God, Not People

The fear of man is a confidence-killer. We are self-conscious because we care about what other people think. So, we’ve got to stop letting others’ opinions rule us. I used to hate hearing this advice, but it’s the truth.

Defeating the fear of man begins with fearing God. We don’t naturally fear God; we learn to (Psalm 34:11). Think about it- you learn to respect someone by spending time with them. How can you respect someone you don’t know? I encourage you to open your bible and allow the Lord to reveal Himself. When you begin to understand who He is, you’ll believe David when he says, “What can man do to me?”(Psalm 118:6).

4. Take Risks

Being overly attached to perfect outcomes can keep you stuck in low confidence. In transparency, I’m not much of a risk taker. I’m not one of those spontaneous types. I’m the type that loves knowing what is going to happen before it does. But God doesn’t work this way. Often, you have to take the first step, then He establishes it. I know it can be nerve-wracking to live your life in bold faith, but God always helps us through it.

It’s so freeing to live your life uninhibited. When you are willing to take risks, it opens you up to see God’s hand at work. Experiencing His goodness causes your confidence in Him to increase. Then, you won’t feel as afraid to be bold for Jesus. The Bible says that the righteous are as bold as lions- let’s start acting like it!

5. Embrace Your Quirks

When you constantly question why God made you the way He did, it robs you of your confidence. The Bible says that everything God designed about you was on purpose! It took me a while to accept, but the Lord wanted me to be introverted. He wanted me to have dark skin with curly hair. Who am I to say that any of that is wrong or bad? It’s quite the opposite. Have you ever thought maybe you’re the one who has it wrong?

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.^[a]
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

6. Stop Comparing Yourself

Another reason you may feel inferior is because you compare yourself to others. This is a biggie; we all fall prey to comparison. One way to combat it is by becoming aware of when you’re comparing yourself and contrasting the thoughts with God’s truth.

Listen, God made you! He didn’t make you like Suzy, or Jenny, or whoever for a reason. You are equally as valuable as any other woman, even when your feelings try to tell you otherwise.

7. Learn to be Humble

If you’ve read your bible, you know that God is not a fan of pride. And for good reason! Pride is a roadblock to confidence. I used to believe that pride only manifested itself as arrogance. I wasn’t cocky at all, just the opposite- I hated myself. Because of this, I had a fake humility. I didn’t think I was prideful.

Pride is sneaky in that way. Pride has to do with excessive self-focus- whether you think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, or you can’t stand yourself you’re still focused on “self”. Both viewpoints contradict what God says about you and should be avoided. Take notes from Jesus and learn to find confidence by relying on the Father. As Paul says, the only thing worthy of boasting in is in the Lord.

8. Call out the Enemy’s Lies

The Bible says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). You can bet that he wants to steal your confidence. He does that by lying to you about who you are and the Lord’s good plans for your life.

The biggest mistake you can make is being passive and just listening to all the disgusting things he has to say about you. Instead, pull out your sword (your Bible) and fight back. Tell the devil who you are in Christ ( see tip #1) and tell him to get lost.

9. Understand Growth is a Process

Another pitfall for staying in low confidence is having unrealistic expectations. Building an unshakeable confidence takes time. As much as we all want a magic pill solution, we must be patient and kind to ourselves as God transforms us. God started a good work in you, and He will finish it. Even though you might not see results overnight, understand the Lord is working and stay hopeful.

Ladies, you can be confident not because you are enough but because God is. My prayer for you (and for me) is that as we learn more about who the Father is, we will have an untouchable and resolute Godfidence.